This web page came about because my habit of adding funny quotes I hear to my signature file overcame AOL's capacity to hold it, as well as some people's willingness to read it. So, here are the quotes which are no longer at the bottom of my e-mails, and, as far as I know, found only below! This site is brand spankin' new, so it doesn't look wonderful yet, but if you have any cool ideas please feel free to e-mail me at Latimer84@aol.com. As time goes on, I will add the quotes that get bumped from my sig. As it stands, they are all in chronological order, with the exception of quotes talking about other quotes (the latter go below the former). Enjoy!
"I'm a good driver; I just speed." -- John
"What, I don't get a spot this time? I'm insulted!" -- Sara
"Flattery will get you everywhere." -- Nick Young
"You can do all sorts of things with PVC if you can't afford rubber." -- Nick Young again, making an old series Tomorrow People pun
" 'Tis true, you are the quotation authority of the web." -- Bizzie
"Yay communism!" -- Julie L
"When people are designing things like that, don't they ever test them to see if they suck?" -- Peregrine@softhome.net
"Do what your heart tells you, man. Or what the MYA kids say; either one." -- David Glasser
"Not calling it a crusade is progress as far as Bush is concerned." -- Arpi
Dashel Damsell: She's so pretty.
Me: Dashel, she's a fetus.
"She used to be worse, strict and anal. They say menopause has softened her.Now she's only sketchy." -- Micaela
"You're such a bad liar you can't even lie over AIM!" -- Me
Micaela: You know, that's kind of funny, that they have AIM in France.
Geoff: I concur. I know that in England America OnLine is called "AOL UK."
Micaela: Oh dear! The ironies of life!
"For many, this charred portrait of Elizabeth II gives poignant new meaning to the phrase, 'Hey, check out that flaming queen.'" -- Family Guy
"I am extremely hot. In fact I'm getting turned on right now just being myself." -- "Dashal Damsell"
"I'm actually not that cool, I'm just cynical." -- Ms. Matthews
Me (making a typo): AIM won't worry, and AOL decided to stop upgrading at 28%
Hanna: I don't think AIM is capable of feeling
Me: Although I like Ukyou too, oddly enough. Actually, I like MOST of the Ranma cast ^_^;
Arpi: As does most of the Ranma cast :)
Darryl: You know, most people would've settled for the rabid iguana. But not you, Geoff. No, you insisted on the stick. :)
Me: I gotta be me.
"That's no way to talk to Microsoft! You need to use curse words." -- David C
"I believe in peace, b*tch." -- Tori Amos
Sara: One day I'm going to write a best-selling drama with these experiences.
Me: Can I quote you that?
Sara: Yes You can also quote me on "::head explodes::"
"I think I need a sedative." -- Sara
"I'm trying to understand and my brain is slowly imploding on itself.." -- Guess who!
"Wow, you're just piling up the quotes today! Soon I'm going to need a special 'Sara sig.'" -- Me
"Hehe, I've made my comeback, just like Bon Jovi." -- Amy
"Life is a Twilight Zone." -- Ms. Matthews
"He left his thumb at the scene? I guess that gives new meaning to leaving fingerprints." -- Wendy, on a serial killer
"I don't really have a philosophy, I just go with the flow. Unless there's a waterfall ahead." -- Me, on life
"I have to go out and buy things for a poetry reading I'm doing in Language Arts. In the absence of good teaching, I can feed them and they feel well taught..." -- Ms. Matthews
"I'm very proud of your ability to violate copyright laws at such an astonishing pace." -- David
"It's got more nooks and crannies than an English muffin!" -- Me (it just popped into my head)
My mother: Here, use the sea kelp (soap).
Me: Hey! I don't appreciate your insults, mother.
Her: No, SEA KELP! Kelp! Kelp! Kelp!
Me: I think you're the one who needs to seek help.
Her: I do--I've got a terribly obnoxious son!"
-- My mom and me, on the merits of sea kelp soap
"What am I going to do when you've all turned 18 and I have nobody to tease about being children anymore? I won't have anything to say at chat." -- Shaun, on my age
"Okay, was it about God or a hooker? [pause] I never thought I'd ask that one." -- Me, on an Edith Piaf song
"Gender ambiguity and homosexuality are pure gold in the humor department." -- Steve, on writing
"Hey, at least you get to be a little megalomaniac." -- Megan, out of pure jealousy
"He said we live lives of quiet desperation. He was desperate for washed shirts." -- Ms. Matthews, talking about Thoreau
"Hey, that sounds pretty desperate to me... at least he did what he said, though! Emerson was just a hypocrite, though I love his writing. I mean at least he [Thoreau] did live at Walden, it's a step! -- Bizzie on Ms. Matthew's comment and the issues surrounding it
"It's not lying, it's just telling something other than the truth." -- My brother David, on my made-up Literature class
"I'm used to the cold, I got that from learning to swim. My parents would take me out to the middle of the lake and throw me out of the boat. Swimming was easy, but getting out of that burlap bag, now that was hard. " -- Steve, on one of our many trips into town for candy
"Being taken to another world seems to be a big theme in Japan. It's surprising that there's anyone left..." -- Steve again
"They must have great construction technique in Japan, since they're rebuilding Tokyo daily." -- Steve strikes a third time!
"Wow, Steve really churns this stuff out, doesn't he? Someone should really follow that boy around with a tape recorder..." -- Arpi
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